Dianabol. For those not sure what it is its a steroid that comes in tablet form to take orally instead of injections. I got my hands on some to do a cycle of just over a month at a low dosage of about 30mg a day. These can come with side effects but all i noticed was a huge increase in energy, massive increase in sex drive and my appetite had come back. i was hitting the gym harder and putting on the weight, I was feeling invincible but no other emotions. I never worried about anything, i was always pumped and ready to get into a fight if i needed to, even if it was 20 people i felt like i could beat them all.

Every night id take a xanax to sleep and sometimes another in the morning. Most weekends id head out to pick up women because i felt so emotionally dead that i didn’t care about the outcome and because of this it gave off false confidence which did actually work ( this is not the secret to picking up women haha) Once i had finished my cycle of dianabols i did drop a couple kg’s off due to water retention but i still felt dead and numb i was going through each day like a blur not caring if i didn’t wake up the next day.

Disaster hit one day when i had run out of xanax and this was the moment i knew i was addicted to them. The withdrawal symptoms were terrible. Migraines, body aching, constant anxiety attacks for no reason and nausea. At the time i was on 0.5mg of xanax but i was taking more like 1mg, This is when i got my hands on a new bottle of 2mg xanax tablets. when i took one of the 2mg pills the feeling was fantastic everything went away, time slowed down and so did my brain. id sleep all night and most of the day as the feeling lasted alot longer, this felt way better then having none and going through the withdrawal process again.

I had plenty of pills again my emotions were still dead i didn’t know what was really me and what was the drug talking so in a way i lost touch with who i was and this led to something else….. Alcohol.

Thanks for reading everyone my next will go into my new addiction with alcohol this one may take me a bit longer to write as alot of it was a blur but please stick with it ill have it out as soon as i can 🙂