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Have you ever felt like you dont fit in? or you’re the odd one out?

I have many times and i believe its linked together with depression. From not fitting in with conversations and being on the outside and un-noticed in friends circles at parties or pubs/clubs. To overcome this i tried to be more noisy and stand-out, This felt like it worked and i wasn’t the odd one out anymore but when i was down and i looked back at these instances it was all false i was the black sheep. I didn’t fit in, i missed out on the inside jokes and when i messaged to see whats going on, i’d find out they are already doing something so i gave up and everything went quiet. This made everything worse as i would see them having fun in photos and i would resent them, instead of doing something about it i would just wallow in self pity but i couldn’t snap out of it the depression was just feeding off this.

It took a while to come around (remember true friends stick by you through thick and thin) but im slowly getting there but i still believe i am the black sheep but now i see it as a positive instead of a negative. I’m no longer a follower, if i don’t like it then i won’t do it even if everybody does it. I will stand up for myself even when others see it as wrong, I love a good debate and arguement. I will not just follow because the majority does i am the minority, i am the black sheep.