• About
  • My Story with anxiety and depression so far….

Unhappy uprise

~ find your way out of the darkness

Unhappy uprise

Monthly Archives: July 2015

Doubts

24 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by Scott Johnson in doubt, doubts, guidance, help, hopeless, lost, questions, stuck, support, trapped

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

doubt, doubts, guidance, help, hopeless, lost, questions, stuck, support, trapped

Doubts will destroy you and make you question everything, This is happening to me right now. I thought I had found the job for me, something that each day I’m happy to go into work and get things done. My first doubt came in when 3 weeks into the job HR came in with the boss to have a word to me and list things that I should be doing which I thought ok no problem I’ll address them and get on top of it which I did and was feeling good again. But it wasn’t to last, just yesterday it was another similar meeting with even more points and questioning everything I do from as little as not emptying out the bosses bin in his office. And then the big question, am I out of my depths? followed by it doesn’t look like it’s working out. I wish I had an answer, is just over a month long enough for me to be on top of everything? am I just stupid? am I not meant to be a manager? am I not meant to be happy? what should I do? am I seriously that useless? where do I stand?

So many questions and I have no answers and I don’t know where to even get these answers from. I’m stuck.

Advertisement

The passing of a loved one.

23 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Scott Johnson in family, funeral, love, parents, sad, sadness, sorrow, spiritual, strong

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

family, funeral, love, parents, sad, sadness, sorrow, spiritual, strong

The loss of a family member is hard and is even worse when it’s so unexpected. I lost my grandmother on my mothers side and to see your mum cry and break down is the most painful thing to see in your life. I wanted to see her for the last time and unfortunately she had been gone for a few hours so when I saw her she was all white with no colour in her face at all. To me it wasn’t her, I don’t know what I was looking at but it wasn’t her or who I remembered which to me was a relief because I didn’t want all the good times and memories to be hindered by her last moment. I didn’t cry that day even though others did I didn’t know what to think really, mainly I was just blocking it out of my mind. Then came the funeral, I was strong through most of it until a song and a montage of her and to top it off seeing your mum break down i couldn’t hold it back anymore, my lips were bleeding from me biting down on them so hard. I tried to stay strong for everyone but it was inevitable. It was a beautiful send off for someone so fantastic with such a great personality and kindness.

To me physically she is gone but she is still around, I know alot of people don’t believe it but i know somehow she is still there.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 319 other subscribers
Follow Unhappy uprise on WordPress.com

Blogroll

  • Beyond blue
  • Get Inspired
  • Get Mobile
  • Get Polling
  • Get Support
  • Great Reads

Previous Blog posts

  • November 2017 (1)
  • July 2017 (1)
  • November 2016 (1)
  • February 2016 (1)
  • August 2015 (1)
  • July 2015 (2)
  • May 2015 (1)
  • April 2015 (3)
  • March 2015 (7)
  • February 2015 (4)
  • January 2015 (10)
  • December 2014 (5)
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

My Blogs

  • My anxiety and depression story

Social

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Top Rated

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Unhappy uprise
    • Join 62 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Unhappy uprise
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar