Tag Archives: friendship

ON THE RIGHT PATH

27 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by in career, study, Uncategorized, university

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Hello all, I do realise it has been a long time since my last post but at least I have positives to talk about.

I lost my job again and seriously doubted can I do this for the rest of my life, I tried to think of things that I liked doing with my job and one thing came up, teaching/helping employees. I’m not a very patient guy but when it comes to teaching someone I have an unlimited amount and never get angry and to see someone actually learn something of importance was an awesome feeling. With support from my family and friends I applied for university to obtain a bachelors degree in education.

When I received an e-mail saying congratulations as they have accepted me I was shocked, I didn’t think I would get in but here I was thinking I’m too old to change careers now about to jump back into school and start again.

I haven’t officially started yet but I have gone for orientation and I’m really happy I took this step, I had worries at first (mainly financial stuff) but the government does help a bit and I’ll get a casual job in the meantime to cover other costs. I will write more as I go through Uni life as a mature aged student and give an insight to others that might be thinking the same thing.

My quick advice for now would be it’s never too late to change career and aim for something you enjoy doing, don’t stay unhappy in a job you don’t like not only will it bring you down but it hurts everyone else around you too.

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Friends Important?

05 Sunday Apr 2015

Posted by in feelings, friend, friends, friendship, happy, hope

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How important is friendship? And not just friends that you talk to i mean the deep meaningful friendship where you know they will be there for you no matter what.

Here is my story about an incident not long ago that really changed my thinking.

To have a best friend is great but to not hear from one in so long it makes you think are they still thinking about you like you are of them? or is it just another end to a great friendship.

I had a private number call me and i missed the call but a voice to text message was left and just from what it said i had a feeling who it was, then i could hear the voice message and i was almost positive i knew who it was. I did some tracking due to certain incidents so i couldn’t contact them very easily. I was able to contact them and i asked the question and guess what, i was right. To be re-connected with such a friend felt so good that words cannot describe it.

We began talking and that’s when i really found out they thought about me all the time also and hadn’t forgotten or moved on. The feeling of knowing someone else cares about you as much as you do them is true happiness. For this person i would do anything for them and that’s why i kept my distance out of respect (i won’t go into details on this) It was painful to do but i felt it was the right thing to do at the time and it was all my fault and to hear them apoligise to me threw me back and really made me realise what a true friend really is. I do hope one day in the future things will change and we can go back to normal but in the time being im filled with hope and so much happiness knowing they are there thinking of me as much as i do for them.

I feel friends in a way are more important then family, as they say you cant choose your family but you can with friends. Make the most of it, make true friends 🙂

Missing something?

19 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by in alone, anxiety, battle, beliefs, depressed, depression, empty, friends, friendship, humanity, lost, missed, missing, people, relationship

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That feeling as if you’re missing something. You see other people that must have it but you don’t. Other people are in relationships or have very close friends but all you get is people blocking you and ignoring you. What am i doing wrong? should i be sending dick pics instead of trying to start a conversation? am i really that ugly? what is it? all i can figure out is that i don’t have it. Whatever it is i want it more then money. I don’t want to try and have everyone like me because i know not everyone can like you, that’s just ridiculous. But to have some that have no hidden agendas and would do anything for you like you would for them, is that too much to ask for? is trust non existent? Is everyone too self centred? don’t people think of other people any more? Whatever it is that I’m missing I want it!!

Money, isn’t it wonderful?

03 Tuesday Mar 2015

Posted by in addiction, battle, beliefs, black, cash, change, dark, friends, friendship, future, gains, hope, money, moral, morals, obsession, poison, profit, rich

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Money, we all need it, it’s a bit of paper with numbers on it displaying an amount or little metal pieces.

What would you do to get money?  live in misery to be rich? destroy other humans lives to become wealthy? all these have been done on numerous occasions. Money is even stronger than someones beliefs. A cardinal in Vatican city in control of the money for the poor used it for himself to build a new kitchen and travel business class everywhere. It’s amazing how money can change people so much to even go against their own beliefs and morals. To destroy other peoples lives so you can make a bigger profit, Money is a poison but its a poison we need, Just stay true to yourself and follow your moral compass, we were not meant to hurt or destroy other people. Why sell your soul and surround yourself with fakes instead of friends. Just don’t forget who you are and what’s your beliefs but most importantly don’t forget who you were.

The workforce, Good and the bad!

09 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by in addiction, alone, anxiety, battle, black, blue, career, depressed, depression, down, dream, family, friends, friendship, health & wellness, health and wellness, help, inspiration, job, jobs, life

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Everyone has one, some love it and others hate it. A job is needed to earn money (obviously) but do you really want to spend alot of your life doing something you hate?

Iv’e gone through my school years never knowing what i wanted to do so i never went to University and ended up as a manager in retail just because it was offered to me. This is the job that really magnified my anxiety and depression. I never liked going into work and the money wasn’t worth the hours either. The worst part was the customers, you really see the worst in people, iv’e had things thrown at me and every insult you could think of. It really makes you hate people and lose faith in how people treat you.

I finally left that job and started one i enjoyed but still in retail and a manager. Customers were great, as i dealt with more trade people and they were all just so much more friendlier. But this time i started to lose my ambition because of who i worked with until finally i lost my job just before Christmas. I’m now jobless and have applied for many positions but still have been unsuccessful even with my experience.

It’s amazing how a job can control so many of your emotions and can make you feel trapped in a world of just work. Step back, open your eyes and see it’s just a job, you have family and friends, so enjoy those times more then anything.

The black sheep

17 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by in alone, anxiety, black, blue, depressed, depression, down, dream, dreams, family, friends, friendship, health & wellness, health and wellness, inspiration, inspire, life, mental health, outcast, resolution, sheep

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Have you ever felt like you dont fit in? or you’re the odd one out?

I have many times and i believe its linked together with depression. From not fitting in with conversations and being on the outside and un-noticed in friends circles at parties or pubs/clubs. To overcome this i tried to be more noisy and stand-out, This felt like it worked and i wasn’t the odd one out anymore but when i was down and i looked back at these instances it was all false i was the black sheep. I didn’t fit in, i missed out on the inside jokes and when i messaged to see whats going on, i’d find out they are already doing something so i gave up and everything went quiet. This made everything worse as i would see them having fun in photos and i would resent them, instead of doing something about it i would just wallow in self pity but i couldn’t snap out of it the depression was just feeding off this.

It took a while to come around (remember true friends stick by you through thick and thin) but im slowly getting there but i still believe i am the black sheep but now i see it as a positive instead of a negative. I’m no longer a follower, if i don’t like it then i won’t do it even if everybody does it. I will stand up for myself even when others see it as wrong, I love a good debate and arguement. I will not just follow because the majority does i am the minority, i am the black sheep.

Beginning of depression and Anxiety part 6

13 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by in My anxiety and depression story

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Withdrawal symptoms, The one thing i thought id never have to worry about. I never really thought xanax would do this but i was wrong and boy is it hard to stop especially cold turkey. The right way to do it is to see your local GP first and most likely he or she will help you slowly get off of them and cut back your intake to a safe level to stop.

What happens if you stop immediately you ask? Its hell, plain and simple, it took me a few goes to stop and have it under control and when i ran out i couldn’t get my hands on them it was a nightmare, hot and cold flushes, feeling sick, constant panic attacks and migraines is just a small sample of the things i went through and it didn’t just last a week it took a good month for it to start to settle. My nerves were shot i had no control of my hands they would constantly shake and i felt confined or trapped its hard to describe but it felt as though everything was pushing in around me and i couldn’t think straight all i needed was a xanax and then i knew i would be ok and things would be clear again.

I wish i had gone to the doctors for help to get off of it as it would have been so much better and safer, i consider myself lucky to have the will and strength to stop and rise up from this but i realised something, im not alone, there is many people out there going through the same thing and alot of people out there to help you deal with it. So remember to just talk about it, its a huge relief to do it and seek help. You are not alone 🙂

What drives you?

10 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by in depression, doctor, down, dream, dreams, drive, family, fitness, friends, friendship, health, health & wellness, health and wellness, help, hobbies, hobby, inspiration, inspire, life, life goals, mental health, support

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Most people have it whether its a long term ambition or just looking forward to the end of the day. I’m talking about what pushes you or drives you forward, it could be as simple as a new game you want to play or majority of the people…….. the weekend!!

These are small things that i’m sure you don’t even think about, they are just normal feelings of looking forward to something or enjoying your hobbies. Now try thinking of nothing, you have lost interest in things you like and there is nothing to look forward to not even in the short term. This is what a small part of depression feels like, you are stuck in limbo you don’t even care about the weekend you don’t even care what day it is because its just all the same. You lose interest in all the hobbies you once loved and you cant see why you even liked them in the first place. This becomes a very dangerous state of mind as you shut everyone and everything out, you have pretty much shut your mind off and all that’s left is negatives. This stage can get worse with some people as they don’t feel anything and so shut off that they self inflict injuries (if you see or if you are doing this seek help immediately there is plenty of places and the best place to start is your local GP)

That’s a small insight into depression so make the most of the fun times or hobbies you love, we all know the saying ‘stop and smell the roses’ so focus on the good things and your hobbies, or something you are looking forward to sometime in the future, you will be surprised to see you have alot you never really considered or gave much thought to.

Who are you?

08 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in addiction, anxiety, depression, family, friends, friendship, health & wellness, health and wellness, life, poetry, questions

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Who are you? sit down and ponder that for a while. Is the you that you’re showing to others the real you? how many versions of you is there? do you go out with friends and be the life of the party and aim to make others laugh but then at home you are quiet and withdrawn, which version is the real you? is it both? is it none? are you just chasing approval or wanting to please everyone other then yourself?

I ask myself the same question often. Why do i care about pleasing everyone or there opinion of me. Its impossible to please everyone in the same way not everyone likes the same sporting team or the same music, this is what makes the world work and creates new things from music to movies. With saying that it also creates groups and fan clubs. It also relates to personalities, not everyone will like yours but you will find that special group or fan club that love it, thats when you find true friendship, the moment you can be yourself and feel relaxed, no need to be careful what you say or what you do. You cannot have everyone like you so why try? just be you and have the real fans around you.

Do we control our mind or do our minds control us? Just remember the way i see red will be different to the way you see red.

What can i do if my friend is suffering from anxiety and depression?

03 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by in family, fitness, friends, friendship, health, health and wellness, help, mental health, support

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Not only is this horrible for the person going through anxiety and depression but it also puts a strain on friendship because you feel so helpless.

Well ill list a few things you can do as a friend or a family member. First off still invite them out, they will say no alot but just asking makes them feel that they are still apart of the group and not left out. Next is listen, just listen to what they have to say it might not be about what they are going through but just a good conversation is brilliant.

The topic isnt taboo, you can talk about it with them and ask how they are going and things like that, its not a sensitive topic, you dont have to tip toe around it. Another one is a bit more specific with panic attacks, if you are with someone and they are having a panic attack just comfort them and sit down with them, make sure they are taking big deep breaths and just keep talking, this method has worked on me numerous of times.

One big one is be vigilant, if they seem to be changing in anyway with there personality and lose interest in things they used to love just try and gently push them to get some help or talk about it with their family members so they are aware aswell to help them out. You will find plenty of info on http://www.beyondblue.org.au

From someone still going through this just talk to us normally, you dont have to be careful what you say, but please be a true friend and be there and listen when we need you the most.

Hope this helps some people, the next part to my ongoing story should be up in the next couple of days 🙂