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Unhappy uprise

~ find your way out of the darkness

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Tag Archives: support

Doubts

24 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by Scott Johnson in doubt, doubts, guidance, help, hopeless, lost, questions, stuck, support, trapped

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doubt, doubts, guidance, help, hopeless, lost, questions, stuck, support, trapped

Doubts will destroy you and make you question everything, This is happening to me right now. I thought I had found the job for me, something that each day I’m happy to go into work and get things done. My first doubt came in when 3 weeks into the job HR came in with the boss to have a word to me and list things that I should be doing which I thought ok no problem I’ll address them and get on top of it which I did and was feeling good again. But it wasn’t to last, just yesterday it was another similar meeting with even more points and questioning everything I do from as little as not emptying out the bosses bin in his office. And then the big question, am I out of my depths? followed by it doesn’t look like it’s working out. I wish I had an answer, is just over a month long enough for me to be on top of everything? am I just stupid? am I not meant to be a manager? am I not meant to be happy? what should I do? am I seriously that useless? where do I stand?

So many questions and I have no answers and I don’t know where to even get these answers from. I’m stuck.

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What drives you?

10 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by Scott Johnson in depression, doctor, down, dream, dreams, drive, family, fitness, friends, friendship, health, health & wellness, health and wellness, help, hobbies, hobby, inspiration, inspire, life, life goals, mental health, support

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ambition, depression, dream, dreams, drive, emotion, family, fitness, friend, friendship, goals, health, help, hobbies, hobby, hope, inspire, life, life goals, mental health, ponder, support, wellness

Most people have it whether its a long term ambition or just looking forward to the end of the day. I’m talking about what pushes you or drives you forward, it could be as simple as a new game you want to play or majority of the people…….. the weekend!!

These are small things that i’m sure you don’t even think about, they are just normal feelings of looking forward to something or enjoying your hobbies. Now try thinking of nothing, you have lost interest in things you like and there is nothing to look forward to not even in the short term. This is what a small part of depression feels like, you are stuck in limbo you don’t even care about the weekend you don’t even care what day it is because its just all the same. You lose interest in all the hobbies you once loved and you cant see why you even liked them in the first place. This becomes a very dangerous state of mind as you shut everyone and everything out, you have pretty much shut your mind off and all that’s left is negatives. This stage can get worse with some people as they don’t feel anything and so shut off that they self inflict injuries (if you see or if you are doing this seek help immediately there is plenty of places and the best place to start is your local GP)

That’s a small insight into depression so make the most of the fun times or hobbies you love, we all know the saying ‘stop and smell the roses’ so focus on the good things and your hobbies, or something you are looking forward to sometime in the future, you will be surprised to see you have alot you never really considered or gave much thought to.

Beginning of depression and Anxiety part 5

06 Tuesday Jan 2015

Posted by Scott Johnson in My anxiety and depression story

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addiction, alcohol, anxiety, depression, drugs, health, mental health, rum, steroid, support, wellness, xanax

Alcohol, majority of people drink it and most just drink it socially. Others have an addiction and drink it non stop everyday. Me on the other hand i used it more as a tool for greater impact with the xanax.

It started one day when the house was empty i took a xanax ready for bed and decided to try some bacardi 151 shots (for people that dont know its a very strong alcoholic rum) I did 2 shots and within 10-15mins (estimation) my body felt numb, everything slowed down, i could barely feel any pain at all. You also feel very tired at the same time and this is when you get dumb ideas and i thought id see how hard i could bash my head against the door (its ok you can laugh)

The next morning my head did hurt for obvious reasons but i felt fine, i couldn’t remember too much but i knew i liked the feeling. This of course led to more alcohol and xanax mixing and sometimes just alcohol for example in the morning with my coffee id put some whiskey in it.

Taking a xanax on its own had no effect anymore and it felt like i needed those few shots of scotch or rum to speed up the process and with that id take less of the pills which means they would last longer. I continued this path and didn’t see any reason to stop. The problem was that i felt so low i couldnt see things getting any worse and this gave me comfort because i knew once things were looking up for me something will soon come around the corner and knock me all the way back down again.

Feeling low and numb was great because i knew nothing could hurt me……. until i ran out of xanax.

In the final part ill go into detail on why stopping cold turkey with xanax is bad and why you should go to a doctor. Thanks for reading.

What can i do if my friend is suffering from anxiety and depression?

03 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by Scott Johnson in family, fitness, friends, friendship, health, health and wellness, help, mental health, support

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anxiety, depression, emotion, family, fitness, friend, friendship, health, help, mental health, support, wellness

Not only is this horrible for the person going through anxiety and depression but it also puts a strain on friendship because you feel so helpless.

Well ill list a few things you can do as a friend or a family member. First off still invite them out, they will say no alot but just asking makes them feel that they are still apart of the group and not left out. Next is listen, just listen to what they have to say it might not be about what they are going through but just a good conversation is brilliant.

The topic isnt taboo, you can talk about it with them and ask how they are going and things like that, its not a sensitive topic, you dont have to tip toe around it. Another one is a bit more specific with panic attacks, if you are with someone and they are having a panic attack just comfort them and sit down with them, make sure they are taking big deep breaths and just keep talking, this method has worked on me numerous of times.

One big one is be vigilant, if they seem to be changing in anyway with there personality and lose interest in things they used to love just try and gently push them to get some help or talk about it with their family members so they are aware aswell to help them out. You will find plenty of info on http://www.beyondblue.org.au

From someone still going through this just talk to us normally, you dont have to be careful what you say, but please be a true friend and be there and listen when we need you the most.

Hope this helps some people, the next part to my ongoing story should be up in the next couple of days 🙂

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